Mountainbikes don't get pregnant

You can ride your mountainbike any time of the month

Mountainbikes don't have parents

Mountainbikes don't whine unless something is really wrong

You can share your mountainbike with your friends

Mountainbikes don't care how many other mountainbikes you've ridden

When riding, you and your mountainbike can arrive at the same ttime

Mountainbikes don't care how many other mountainbikes you have

Mountainbikes don't care if you look at other mountainbikes

Mountainbikes don't care if you buy mountainbike magazines

You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new mountainbike" unless you go out to buy one yourself

If your mountainbike goes flat you can fix it

If your mountainbike is too loose you can tighten it

If your mountainbike is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it

You can have a black mountainbike and bring it home to your parents

You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your mountainbike

If you say bad things to your mountainbike, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again

You can ride your mountainbike as long as you want and it  won't get sore

You can stop riding your mountainbike as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated

Your parents won't remain in touch with your old mountainbike after you dump it

Mountainbikes don't get headaches

Mountainbikes don't insult you if you're a bad rider

Your Mountainbike never wants a night out with the other mountainbikes

Mountainbikes don't care if you're late

You don't have to take a shower before you ride your mountainbike

If your mountainbike doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts

You can ride your mountainbike the first time you meet it, without taking it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother

The only protection you have to wear when riding your mountainbike is a decent helmet

When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your mountainbike